Love Island Lesson 3: Don’t squash yourself – or anybody else #Yewande

in Love Island/Uncategorized

If you started watching Love Island to have a giggle at the inflated muscles, lips and egos of this year’s contestants you were probably just after some lighthearted fun.

You planned to switch on the show and switch off all your faculties and simply enjoy some mindless entertainment.

Unfortunately, it’s all gone a bit wrong.

In fact, you now find yourself cringing before the screen with your hands over your eyes.

The Yewande and Danny situation hooked you in and now you can’t bear to watch it all implode.

Admit it – this year’s cast have got to you, haven’t they?

“Arrogant” Amber is a secret softie, Jack-the-lad Michael is as bright as a button, blonde “Barbie” Lucie is a down-to-earth tomboy and it turns out that “man eater” Maura is a bit shy and has been with less men than anyone you know.

But perhaps the biggest revelation has been Yewande Biala. The 23 year old scientist from Dublin represents beauty and brains.

Little wonder then that eyebrows and voices were raised in front of TV sets all over the land when the island’s sole black female appeared to be missing in action, with just a minuscule amount of screen time to her name.

Fortunately, all that changed with the arrival of love interest Danny Williams. A nation fell in love with Yewande as she shyly responded to Danny’s attentions.

She was kind, sweet and fiercely intelligent – instead of capitalising on her looks, here was a serious-minded young woman who spent her time in libraries.

It was refreshing.

But when Yewande’s delight turned to what seemed like indifference, indignant viewers couldn’t understand why she wasn’t grateful for a man like Danny.

Yewande was cold.

Yewande, according to some memes, was a very angry woman.

Yewande is now a somewhat ambivalent word – social media shows a nation divided.

But the love lesson we seem to be learning from her situation is that you shouldn’t have to squash yourself – or anyone else – to find true love…

Let’s start with the apparent cause of Yewande and Danny’s troubles  – the fact that Yewande has difficulty expressing her feelings.

Yet, Yewande seems perfectly capable of expressing her feelings when talking to the rest of the group:

“I just feel like he just always needs reassurance!” an exasperated Yewande tells them, while an uneasy out of earshot Danny watches from afar.

Is it really that she has trouble expressing her feelings for Danny?

Or is it that she simply doesn’t have feelings to express for Danny?

Danny thinks it’s the latter. He is a gentle, affectionate soul, hoping for cuddles in bed – while Yewande prefers to turn on her side and promptly fall asleep.

“There’s only so long I can go without getting so much back and it’s difficult. It’s difficult.” a morose Danny tells us viewers at home.

The upfront Maura Higgins is such a different personality type to the introspective Yewande, that she finds their situation utterly baffling – and is keen to get Danny out of it:

“You deserve to be happy, Danny!” she exclaims.

“I don’t want to throw away something away that has potential,” says a despondent Danny.

But does it? Honestly?!” asks Maura in disbelief.

She raises a valuable point.

For Yewande, who initially responded to Danny’s attentions with a bashful charm, now seems more annoyed than amorous.

A nation scratches its head, perplexed.

Or as Danny puts it, as sulkily as he can muster:

“Don’t come to Love Island if you don’t want to be loved.”

(It’s at times like these that you can understand Yewande’s scepticism; it ain’t love after 12 days, oh Danny boy.)

So now that it’s all getting very messy between the pair, who should enter into the villa than 28 year old model, Arabella Chi…

Because life is all about timing.

Arabella saunters into our lives sporting a mane of golden hair, a body with a golden tan and, of course(!) a golden bikini.

And it’s clear that the boys are dazzled by all that gold.

(Even staunchly loyal Curtis Pritchard, who is practically manacled – I mean married – to Amy Hart, seems…flustered and out of sorts when first conversing with her. Watch out Amy?! )

And the island’s most incurable optimist, Anton Danyluk, seems to have think he’s struck gold – here is the woman he’s been waiting for.

Within minutes of her arrival he is already working on “Operation Double A.”

Danny appears to be a little bit more strategic:

“Maybe if I just get to know her…if I have a bit of one on one time with her and I get to know her maybe Yewande might see that and be like: ‘Oh, I need  to step my game up.’ ” he muses to the boys.

Although that would also be a good excuse for getting to know someone who has turned your head…

Luckily for him, Arabella – a no-nonsense sort of woman – is not afraid to “step on toes” and chooses him for her first date.

“I don’t want people to think I’m unavailable because if I’m in a relationship that’s not working I want to be available,” Danny says later.

And by “people” he now means…Arabella.

But can you blame him?

He says of Yewande: “If she does like me, I just can’t believe it because she doesn’t act like it at all.”

Unfortunately for all three of them, you rather suspect Yewande does like Danny.

After all, wasn’t her apparent disinterest merely a defence mechanism?

Just listen to this:

“If he goes on this date and he gets on with her and (they) hit it off, that’s absolutely fine because I’ve emotionally and psychologically prepared myself for that to happen. Because in my head I already knew it was going to happen because I have zero trust in men. So, when someone’s telling me ‘You’re the one for me’ it’s like sirens in my head are going…”

Yewande later tells viewers that while everyone else thought Danny’s head wouldn’t be turned, she’d known all along that this would happen…

In short, Yewande pushed Danny away before he had the chance to do it first

However, as a scientist, surely she must realise that this is a poorly conducted test?

After all, correlation does not imply causation. Yes, he is looking elsewhere, but the cause of that is uncertain…

And now? She waits for him to come back and say that he wants to get to know Arabella:

“That’s what I’m expecting.”

Careful, Yewande – you get what you expect in this life. Eventually, anyway…

In fact, Danny has an enjoyable date with Arabella  – which they both try and big up as a great date, but did anyone notice any sparks flying?

And was it really as good as Danny and Yewande’s first date?

No. Exactly!

And then when Yewande – presumably inspired by crushing jealousy – suddenly decides to show him affection and opens up, he is absolutely delighted.

An annoyed Arabella has the fun of watching them kiss – and the sincere delight on Danny’s face is palpable.

So, Yewande has temporarily proved herself wrong.

But it’s not going to work, is it?

Yewande does appear to be more independent than Danny – and more self-contained – and if she is not cuddly…she just ain’t cuddly.

Danny can scarcely keep Yewande in a perpetual state of jealousy to spur on uncharacteristic bouts of affection.

Although it does feel like he might be trying that approach…

But Yewande is Yewande.

And Danny is Danny.

If they don’t learn to accept each other the way they are things are going to get mighty uncomfortable.

Danny discovers this for himself while shooting the breeze with (an undaunted) Arabella the next day.

Yewande announces to all and sundry that she has to go and show some affection to Danny.

She says this in the same dutiful way that you might tell everyone that it’s time to do the washing up.

(Well, her previous…experiment…in affection worked so well, after all.)

Yewande then marches over to Danny and, without further ado, promptly SITS on him.


In an “I own this spot” kind of way.

Danny, who was lounging in the sun at the time, doesn’t go into gooey eyed heaven about this territorial behaviour.

He actually looks a bit deflated.

She might as well have peed in a circle around him.

(Although I’m really glad she didn’t…)

Danny may not be a scientist but he’s also no dummy:

“I’m not getting fooled by it just yet,” as he tells a (rather invested) Arabella about Yewande’s sudden physicality.

After all, it’s fairly obvious that Arabella’s presence is what has imbued Yewande with newfound powers of affection – not Danny’s.

And because we can’t bear watching our lovely, intelligent and shy(!) Yewande squashing herself into shapes that don’t suit her nature – and to prevent Danny from literally getting squashed – it’s probably best that they both look elsewhere…

I know, I know; you loved it when Danny and Yewande first got together.

Me too – but it’s definitely not worth getting bent out of shape about… #ItIsWhatItIs

NEXT: Love Island Lesson 4: Don’t Play Games #Maura 

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