Made in Chelsea: the one where James and Rosi’s Chemistry is Weird

in Made in Chelsea/MIC Series 17

It’s episode 6 of series 17 and the latest Made in Chelsea news is that Miles Nazaire can’t quite believe what his friend is telling him:

“Oh my god, why the hell are you going on a date with Rosi?” he exclaims, aghast. “You told me you didn’t like her!”

But for newly annointed player, James Taylor, the fact that Rosi Mai Waldon has asked him out – and has a newly acquired tan – is enough to overlook any of his previous misgivings…


These minimum requirements will doubtless strike hope into the hearts of girls all over the land…

“You love anything about any girl,” realises Miles as they sit in the hazy glow of the World’s End Market and sip from a selection of pretty pastel coloured smoothies, accompanied by Angus Findlay.

Angus, the newest and youngest member of the Chuckle Brothers, seems keen to prove his banter credentials:

“She’s got hair and I love that about her!” he offers, gleefully.

“Ooh, a pulse! I like that!” says a sniggering Miles, joining in.


James, who was considerably more playful prior to blossoming into a playboy, clearly doesn’t consider any of this a laughing matter:

“Miles, at the end of the day I’m going to go on the date no matter what – so I’m just telling you,” he says, setting his friend straight and managing only the smallest of smiles.

Perhaps the players are at last starting to hate the game?

Miles is even saying that he’d like to give dating another try…

Being a Casanova cannot be all it is cracked up to be.

More drinking of non-alcoholic beverages is ensuing at a charming coffee house, intriguingly named The Farmer’s Mistress,

James’ former flame, Eliza Batten, and her elegant friend, Sammy, are gossiping over steaming cups of caffeine.

Sammy Allsop, the show’s latest newcomer, is a fellow Durham student – and a brunette!

Yes, in a sea of blondes she is that rarest of Made in Chelsea unicorns.


The two students are about to start discussing Sammy’s dissertation, when (damnit!) Miles saunters in, interrupting what would have been a fascinating and instructive interlude.

Instead, the fair-haired Eliza wants all the gossip:

“…I’ve heard rumours that there have been a few blondes on the scene,” she begins archly.

Miles is more than happy to divulge the deets:

“Rosi asked James out on a date and then he said yes!”

And by the heavy-handed way Miles is checking out Sammy, it is clear that James isn’t the only one who will be going on dates.

But the crisp Eliza has a sharp observation to make about the James situation:

“Do you know what I’m a bit p*ssed off about is that the girls seem to be facilitating his behaviour because they seem to be saying yes whenever he wants it.”

The woman has a point.


After Miles has departed, Eliza has a revelation of her own:

“So, I have a confession,’ she admits to Sammy. “I came down to London last week and slept with James. It was just a one time thing. We are friends. It doesn’t mean anything.”


It seems that James has become quite the London tourist attraction.

But Eliza’s conscience is troubling her:

“…I feel bad and I feel like I really should tell Verity because I had no idea that they rekindled after he left Durham,” she explains.


Eliza is also quick to acknowledge that in making her point about the girls facilitating James’ playboy ways she was “very much including me in that.”

Meanwhile, Maeva D’Ascanio, Miles’ french ex-girlfriend, is heading Digby Edgley’s way like the unstoppable force of nature she has thus proved to be.

Having confessed last week that Liv Bentley’s boyfriend is her type, we are not at all surprised to find Maeva accidentally bumping into an unsuspecting Digby in the street.

Digby seems both flattered and flustered by his new friend’s effusive attentions.

Having declared that Digby is both “classy” and “mature,” Maeva is suddenly shy and emits a nervous laugh – she has a proposition for Digby:

Well, to be honest, I was thinking about something. I would like to be perfect for the summer…
Maeva D’Ascanio

To summarise, she would like Digby, a personal trainer, to train her.

Personally.

And she isn’t wasting any time:

“We can maybe start tomorrow?” she quickly suggests.

Digby, being a personal trainer, can see no harm in personally training Maeva, and agrees to it.

However, a little later in yet another restaurant,  we find a somewhat defensive Maeva telling Freddie Browne and Rosi about her personal fitness plans.

The three are sitting indoors, surrounded by trees in plant-based restaurant, Ethos, a place which looks and sounds suspiciously healthy.

But how healthy is the Maeva/Digby situation? In a slightly higher pitch than usual Maeva is explaining to her wryly amused audience that it’s all about her body and not Digby’s charms.

She does somewhat undo all that effort when she adds:

“He’s quite good looking so it’s a good thing as well!” with a giggle.

And of his girlfriend, Liv Bentley?


“I actually think he’s too good for her, by the way,” Maeva informs the startled pair.

“I’m not doing anything bad.” adds Maeva, possibly feeling that she isn’t quite carrying the room.

(Tough crowd.)

Freddie Browne and Rosi exchange doubtful glances.

The intentions that you’re going in with should be purely honourable and for fitness only…” points out as-posh-as-Mark-Francis-Vandelli, newcomer Freddie.

The small matter of Liv’s feelings is brought up and Maeva gives this due consideration:

“I actually don’t think she’s going to like that but I don’t care. I really don’t care! Because I’m just saying, yeah – he’s quite good looking – that’s all.”

We really are in the woods here…

Fortunately, Liv and Sophie ‘Habbs’ Habboo are on Cloud Nine.

Well, actually, they’re in Cloud Twelve, a champagne-serving hairdressing salon – and they’re laughing about Maeva’s upcoming personal training session.


Jokes aside, Habbs is still dubious about Maeva’s intentions: “It’s embarrassing,” she tells Liv.

But right now, Liv isn’t too worried: “There’s part of me that thinks she’s almost doing it to get to Miles,” she muses, optimistically.

Habbs has never been impressed by Maeva and her opinion hasn’t changed:

“Questionable behaviour..! I think she’s after your Digby!”


Liv allows a note of steel to enter her voice:

“Look, she’s got another thing coming if she thinks for a second she’s going to achieve anything by doing this,” she observes.

There are more motives to question as Verity has now been informed of James and Eliza’s romp and is extremely keen to share this information with her love rival, Rosi:

I’d be quite wary of his attentions because obviously we’ve got this huge connection that goes back so long now. I just would be careful because in the past he’s told me that you’re boring.
Verity Bowditch

Verity then reassures her that she doesn’t find Rosi boring…

Rosi finds it all “very interesting,” and attempts to laugh it off.

A generous Verity adds: “But I really am done with him, so – all yours!” .


Rosi doesn’t react well to Verity’s largesse – or at least that’s what we surmise from the following sentence…

“Like seriously, that boy thinks that everything is so easy – and maybe in the past it has been – but I’m not like that. So, we’re going to go on a date and we’ll see how it goes.”

Verity’s ruby red smile falters for a moment and she levels a hard look at Rosi – which is returned to her with equal measures of ice…


Freddie observes the chilly ambience with suppressed amusement: “More tea anyone?” he asks blithely.

Well, at least things are warming up at Sweat It, where the already infamous Digby/Maeva training session is taking place – but it really seems to be a nervous Digby that’s doing all of the sweating.

While Maeva coolly goes through her paces, Digby is determined to be the consummate professional and keeps up a running commentary of polite, and encouraging feedback:

“That’s really good, Maeva. Really, really good! Yeah – technique. Everything’s pretty much spot on.”

Anyone would think Maeva had no need for a personal trainer…


Or as Alex Mytton puts it when discussing their session to Liv later:

“There are a lot of PTs out there, why’s she…?”

Yes, Mytton – there is no need for you to complete the sentence; we’re all wondering the same thing.

But by now Liv has come to her own conclusions:

Digby is very loyal – Maeva is very disloyal I think.
Liv Bentley

Luckily, Freddie is on hand to confirm Liv’s worst suspicions, reporting back Maeva’s conversation to the very letter:

“Maeva was pretty vocal about how she thought Digby was an ideal man for her,” he shares, “how he looks really good, how she really fancies him. And also that she didn’t give a f*ck what you thought. Like – at all – didn’t care! And, to top it off, the fact that she thought he was too good for you.”

“She’s honestly…” begins a scandalised Habbs, before pausing to choose her words with care: “…something to be reckoned with…”


Meanwhile, back at the gym Maeva has balls on her mind’ she’s just asked Digby if he wants to play golf with her sometime.

Poor Digby is a nervous wreck by this point:

“We could play golf…yeah. I think…I might…yeah, I mean I’ll talk to… I just don’t want Liv thinking anything weird,” he mumbles, desperate not to offend either woman.

“Oh, she can come with us!” offers a generous Maeva. “Does she play golf?”

“No, but we can give her a club – she’d like that!” says a laughing Digby, possibly speaking truer than he knows.

Particularly, as Liv has now watched the session:


Maeva’s attentions may be a gift to Digby’s self-esteem, but James has a much better gift for Eliza on their second date….

Roses?

Chocolates?

Diamonds? (This is Chelsea, after all.)

No – Miles!


Yes, her best friend’s ex – and his new date, Sammy!

He’s invited them both to their date… What more could a girl want?

But Rosi seems strangely lacking in gratitude:

“Am I that boring that you feel like you need to invite company on our dates? Apparently that’s what you think,” she adds, clearly nettled by Verity’s oversharing.

“I don’t think you’re boring,” manages James.

But he does seem a bit bored by the whole conversation.

Rosi then turns her attentions to Miles:

“…I live with Maeva – do you think I want to sit at a table with you and a date?”


All this talk about Maeva, who Miles has very publicly broken up with, is making him look bad in front of Sammy and he isn’t having any of it:

“Me and Maeva are not in a relationship at all,” he points out firmly. “Yes, it’s complicated – she’s my ex – but we’re not together.”

Chelsea player, James Taylor, seems to be all out of game and is just sitting there morosely:

“I mean this is our second date,” he mutters,”this is going so well.”

As if he weren’t the architect of his own misfortune…


The four seem to have lost their appetites but Rosi is certainly making a meal out of Miles bringing a date:

“To be honest, I think your behaviour is pretty vile and if I had an ex like you I would want nothing to do with you,” she informs him. “Unfortunately, that’s not the case with Maeva. But I just honestly don’t have a high opinion of you at all.”

This sort of comment doesn’t tend to elicit a positive response from most people and Miles is no exception:

“And quite frankly I don’t care if you have any opinion on me.”

(Welcome to Chelsea, Sammy!)


An optimistic waiter wanders up to the Fretting Four:

“Are you ready to order?” he asks naively.

I don’t think we’re going to stay for food.
Rosi Mai Waldon

Later, when rehashing the sorry tale to Maeva, her bestie asks Rosi a sensible question:

“So, what are you going to do now? Obviously, the first date wasn’t great and the second date wasn’t great…”

Maeva is right. Surely this wholly unsuccessful romantic venture is now over?

Not according to Rosi:

“There’s something there…but there’s some weird chemistry…”

Well, nobody can deny the weird element although the chemistry element of it may appear less evident.

At the launch party for Ambience Vibes – Melissa Tattam and Harry Baron’s range of premium loungewear, things are far from relaxed…


Fresh from two horrendous dates, Rosi is now treated to another one of James’ big surprises, courtesy of, yes – you’ve guessed it – Verity Bowditch.

Rosi’s nemesis informs her that James slept with Eliza not one week ago.

But Rosi, who seems to possess an unlimited capacity for enduring cheerless dates, is unperturbed by this turn of events.

In her view, James hasn’t cheated on her at all – after all, she and James haven’t even kissed yet…

Verity appears greatly dissatisfied with Rosi’s under-reaction:

But does that not show something about his mentality if he’s going to be sleeping around? He can’t care about you that much!
Verity Bowditch

“Yeah, but I didn’t sleep with him…” says Rosi whose ‘relationship’ with James has unwittingly become something of a hobby for Verity.

“But you’re putting up with it! You’re letting him sleep around! I just wouldn’t want to get involved with a guy like that,” claims an indignant Verity.

Wise words, only undermined by the fact that Verity did indeed want to go out with a guy like James.

(Specifically, she wanted to go out with James.)

“I appreciate that you’re telling me,” says Rosi, who is drowning in unwanted gifts, “but if you think that it’s going to change my mind or deter me – I’ll make my own mind up.”

In fact, Verity’s big reveal has quite the opposite affect; Rosi reports back to James and they bond over it:

“Why do you think she would come to you and say that?” asks James.

Rosi doesn’t let him down:

“Because she really enjoys it.”

“Totally agree.” says James, surprising no one.


And then James has a….touching confession to make:

“I’m actually quite glad with how you’ve reacted because I was worried for a second Verity could have jeopardised everything.”

“No.” says a relentlessly cheerful Rosi.

“Good.” says James.

“Good!” repeats Rosi brightly.

James looks at her carefully. His expression is hard to read.

So is ours…

Maeva, whose directness and fearlessness have, so far, slain all her well-spoken opponents, must now come face to face with another fearless female: Liv Bentley.

And it turns out that Liv Bentley doesn’t suffer flirts gladly….


We watch Maeva’s very blood chill in her veins as an antarctic Liv looks her up and down:

“I think you have shown an incredible lack of respect,” she begins, coolly.

A wide-eyed Maeva looks startled and, possibly trying to buy time, asks:

“What are you talking about?”

Liv doesn’t need to draw breath for this one – it all trips off the tongue very easily:

“Saying to Freddie that Digby’s too good for me, that he’s your type…you fancy him…you don’t really care what I have to say….and then asking him to give you a PT session,” she says, reciting the most recent list of offences.

“Oh yeah,” admits Maeva, after this handy reminder – but in Maeva’s eyes she has done nothing wrong.

She admits that her pursuit of Digby was initially due to wanting to make (an utterly oblivious?) Miles jealous, but she now genuinely thinks Digby is “kind.”

“I really like Digby!” she says – but it’s only as friends.

“But yeah I’ve been judging you a bit,” she adds frankly.

“Okay but listen – I’m now judging you,” counters an icy Liv.

Up until now, Maeva was the fieriest person in any room, holding her own against those that would cross her.


But in Liv she has found a worthy foe. Steely, icy, and totally in possession of herself, Liv is steamrollering through Maeva’s admissions – and she has some unwanted advice for her:

“I think you should…do as you would be done by –  and treat people as you would like to be treated.”

Maeva ineptly tries to find a motive for Liv’s fury:

“Are you jealous?”

The look of disbelief and incomprehension on Liv’s face is priceless:

“What would I be jealous of?” she says, looking at Maeva like a queen would look at a carpet mouse.


“Oh my god, you don’t know anything, Liv – you’re not going to act like Habbs, please!” says Maeva, who clearly isn’t enjoying seeing herself through Liv’s unblinking eyes.

This is another point that Liv takes issue with:

“No, Habbs is my friend, don’t slag her off,” she says sternly.


“I don’t care!” exclaims Maeva, with a touch of her usual fire.

Liv observes her coolly: “You don’t seem to give much of a f*ck about anyone,” she notes.

While Maeva is anxious for Liv to see her side and begs her to “Calm down, Liv” her opponent has one final blow to deliver:

“It’s Olivia to you by the way,” she says curtly.

“Enjoy the rest of your evening,” she adds regally exiting the situation, “and stay the f*ck away from my boyfriend,” we hear her growl as a PS.


It is the end of the episode and Maeva is all alone; she looks shaken and upset.

And perhaps genuinely confused.

A fun, seemingly harmless game; a little bit of innocent flirting has led her into a very unflattering scenario.

In some countries, to live is to flirt and no one takes it seriously; it is all part of the richness of life. But when in Rome...

“She’s obviously jealous,” repeats a shaky Maeva to herself, trying to find an explanation.


However, in Liv and Maeva we have two formidable Made in Chelsea women, both as brave as they are beautiful.

Neither of them have any reason to be jealous – they are equally blessed.

Yes, Maeva and Liv – you’ve finally met your match.

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