Made in Chelsea: the one with the Me Party

in Made in Chelsea/MiC Series 16

The Made in Chelsea: Croatia season finale ended with the long foreseen breakup of Olivia Bentley and Digby Edgley.

The split was a shock to no one other than the beleaguered Digby, who thought he and his girlfriend had been having a fine old time in Croatia.

However, the blonde ice queen’s “I think you love me more than I love you,” speech was delivered with a directness and finality that saw Digby sailing off home, possibly upon an ocean of tears.

But when episode 1, Series 16, of Made in Chelsea glided onto our screens last night – how the tables had turned…

The fun-loving Bentley has retreated to the countryside, while homebody, Digby, has mysteriously morphed into a party animal.

Partying with her friends…

Since Croatia, let’s-call-her-Liv has been “hiding” in the country with her family, doing all the cruel yet necessary things people do to achieve the mythical ‘clean break’ – such as blocking Digby on social media.

You’d feel sorry for Digby, confronted with such a wall of silence – except that when we first see him he’s wearing a shirt unbuttoned to below the nipple.

In the daytime.

At Tom’s Kitchen.

But perhaps there is an explanation for all this gratuitous flesh…

“The emotional strain that girl has put me through is ridiculous. No bloke would take that,” declares Digby, before concluding his musings with “I still love her.”

If Digby must deal with this situation by showing cleavage then Liv has a lot to answer for…

Doubts are expressed around Digby’s sudden partying – is it nothing more than a bid to get Liv’s attention?

However, Digby claims that “I’m just doing me, mate,” which rather calls into question who exactly he was doing prior to this personality change.

Back in the country with the Bentleys, the newly engaged Ollie Locke (result!) has a ludicrous suggestion. To help Liv move on from her ex, the only thing to do is to organise a photoshoot.

Of herself.

Naked.

But like all mad suggestions, if offered in a jovial tone and from a chirpy soul like Ollie, it sounds quite reasonable.

So much so, Liv actually agrees.

And then invites everyone she knows to stop by and stare at her naked photos.

It’s called a Me Party.

And no one has ever heard of it before.

Still, it might be fun and there’s no denying that Liv has always had some bare faced cheek.

Ostensibly, Liv is moving on, yet her sentences are peppered with phrases like: “I massively still care about him,” so you can expect this Liv/Digby thing to run and run and run…

Although it would perhaps be best for both of them if Digby ran and ran and ran.

Never go back, folks.

Meanwhile, cheeky chappy, Sam Thompson, has moved into his new place and had been “baptising it with Habbs” his on/off love interest.

Notice the use of the word “had.”

As in past tense.

Because our Sammy also decided to kiss “a couple” of girls to “get a bit of validation.”

And when Sophie ‘Habbs’ Habboo walked past Sam in the club – a club he knew she was in – she chanced upon him kissing a girl.

Kind folk then sent her lots of videos of him kissing…a different girl.

Luckily, Sam is “really f*cking disappointed in myself.”

So, Habbs and Sam do still have that in common as she probably feels similarly about him.

Watching Sam Thompson utter his apology, in wide-eyed and blinking Hugh Grant style (circa Four Weddings and a Funeral) is now starting to take on humorous qualities.

Made in Chelsea maverick, Jamie Laing, clearly agrees since he proves unable to stop sniggering while Sam tells him his tale of woe.

“Sweet!” he snorts helpfully.

Thing is, Sam is now With Glasses, and it’s so hard to hate on designer geekdom.

But let’s persevere…

Anyway, it turns out that the reason Sam kissed our Habbs is because he wasn’t sure how she felt about him:

“Tell me how you feel at least!” he cries passionately, “You’ve never once told me how you feel!”

So, Sam is clearly the wronged one here…

Except that Habbs has a simple response:”I said I missed you every single night!

Hmm…something doesn’t add up.

And it’s probably Sam’s maths since he optimistically assures her:

It’s something I will learn from, 100%.

Let’s try 10%, Sam. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Habbs may not be so quick to forgive now that she has a video of “Sam eating someone’s face.”

Still, her on/off bestie, Melissa Tattam, has found a silver lining: “If you ever get weak, just watch the video again.”

There is yet more trouble in town as spiky Emily Blackwell, Harry Baron’s ex, is back – and she’s moving in with Continental Crumpet, (Miles Nazaire), and Habbs.

She is also banning Baron from their flat due to his poor treatment of her in the past…

“I don’t blame her, to be fair,” admits Harry, who has clearly learnt from Made in Chelsea: Croatia that denying guilt is not the way forward…

Jamie Laing is, of course, thrilled that his nemesis’s ex is back in town!

“Did you get butterflies?” asks a delighted Laing of Harry’s reaction to seeing Emily. But unlike last season, Harry and Melissa are in on the joke and simply laugh.

Sorry, Jamie, there’s just no breaking this couple up.

That’s not to say there won’t be drama here – for Emily has been expressing pity for Melissa…

However, the beautiful and blissfully happy Melissa is not feeling sorry for herself, and she wants Emily to know it:

But I don’t want you to feel sorry for me because that’s just weird.

“I can’t help that. That’s how I feel. Sorry!” Emily responds, laughing, and not sounding terribly sorry.

They then sweetly say goodbye to each other and the air is thick with hatred.

Sensible folk would avoid Chelsea at this point. But not Tom.

Blond Tom is a friend of Emily’s and a newcomer on the scene. He is quick to let Habbs know that he’d “never” do what Sam has done.

Emily immediately casts doubt on this: “No, you’re a nightmare.”

Then, barely missing a beat, she asks: “Why don’t you come as Habbs’ plus one?” to Liv’s Me Party.

Because you said he’s a nightmare, perhaps?

But Habbs is game, so…

And at least it annoys Sam.

Particularly, as the same Tom snogged his ex-girlfriend.

“Back for round two,” says a delighted Alex Mytton, who can always be relied upon to bring out the party balloons at the most unlikely of moments.

Meanwhile, Liv is back in town and has reached boiling point about Digby’s partying ways.

As a dumped ex, he should not be overly concerned with this, but being Digby, he is:

“You don’t have respect for me,” he exclaims in sudden realisation.

“No, well now I don’t. Obviously!” agrees Liv, who paradoxically manages to sound sharp and blunt at the same time.

“Why don’t you have respect for me now?” asks Digby – bravely or foolishly, depending on your perspective.

“Because of the way you’ve been behaving the last few weeks! Which is fine. You can do whatever you want that’s going to make you happy,” says Olivia, quite reasonably, before adding: “But it’s f*cking hurt me as well and I have felt sh*t as well.”

To sum up – Digby can more on. And he should move on. But if he does it will be extremely hurtful…

Stalemate.

Should Digby get his own friends? Or at least his own buttons for his shirt? Exactly how many buckets of tears has Emily actually cried for Melissa? Can blond viking god, Fred, please throw a Me Party?

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