Spencer, Vogue and Funny Too

in Made in Chelsea Cast

There’s a reason why fairy tales end just before happily ever after is about to begin…

It’s because happily ever after often makes for very dull viewing.

So what hopes can you hold for a new show where Spencer Matthews, best-known for his pantomime villain performance in Made in Chelsea – settles into domestic bliss with model Vogue Williams?

The first episode of Spencer, Vogue and Baby Too aired on E4 on Monday night, and sees us following the loved-up couple around as they prepare for the birth of their first child.

As ‘plots’ go, it’s a pretty loose one, meaning that your enjoyment of the show almost entirely hinges on whether you find Spencer and Vogue entertaining.

Our introduction to the loved-up pair swiftly sets the tone for the series:

“I landed the older woman – always knew I would,” Spencer tells us, grinning.

“I landed the smaller man – never thought I would,” is Vogue’s swift rebuttal.

But if you’ve wondered about Spencer’s ability to smoothly transition from Chelsea lothario to domesticated dad, you may observe that Spencer’s paternal streak does not seem to extend to their dog, whose alleged stupidity is a source of amazement for him:

Winston stares at a tennis ball for seven hours on end. I don’t think he is that smart.

He continues: “But what Winston does need to understand is that when the baby comes along it’s our way or the high way. Battersea Dogs Home is just next door,” he points out cheerfully.

Winston is too smart to bother to respond.

We also learn that on seeing the foetus Spencer manages to confuse his unborn child’s penis for the umbilical cord: Once enlightened, he is delighted: “Wow… kid’s packing!” he exclaims proudly.

You see, you may begin the show expecting to hate Spencer. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to.

He’s just very, very funny.

We don’t know if the devil has the best tunes, but Spencer certainly has the best laughs.

Not that Vogue doesn’t do her bit to entertain, helpfully charting the baby’s journey of growth – from cheerio size, to slice of banana, before it expands to bagel proportions.

It’s all very cosy; we watch the pair shopping for baby equipment, attend a doctor’s check up with them, and see them enduring those bouncy prenatal classes.

We are there when Vogue is induced into labour, and we’re audience to her contractions (every 2 and a half minutes initially, for anyone who needed to know.)

We’re at their side when they think Vogue might need a C section (she doesn’t), and we’re at the hospital straight after the birth.

We even witness Spencer’s first night of babysitting, post-birth.

In fact it’s hard to imagine what material they’ll have left for the remaining episodes.

One source of amusement is learning that the couple were trying to have more sex to help usher the baby out.

After all, if anything is going to make you want to leave an environment, it’s hearing your parents making out in it.

There’s only one problem:

“It’s not lasting long enough so the baby’s not even realising that its happened,” Vogue explains.

She kindly offers Spencer some faint praise:

He’s quick and efficient.

Spencer seems none the wiser and takes this as the compliment it isn’t.

But she can’t complain about his wit – the man steals every scene. He’s funny, unfiltered and he really doesn’t care what you or I think anyway, thank you very much.

It’s just as well that he has a brusque tongue as otherwise the smugness of their love nest might be close to unbearable, as Spencer demonstrates here:

Most married people hate each other, I’ve noticed that – and we are just madly in love. I do love you.

Just you wait, seethe married couples everywhere, just you wait

But they’re a good match and, perhaps surprisingly given Spencer’s bad boy past, it is Vogue who seems to wear the trousers.

For Vogue has mastered the art of not taking Spencer too seriously.

She guffaws or shrugs off his little jibes with good humour.

Although there are two moments when Spencer might have gone a little too far…

“Shut up Spencer, you absolute dick,” she positively growls when, on being told by the nurse that the baby won’t arrive that weekend after all, Spencer cheerfully notes that he will now be able to go and play golf that weekend.

The second moment is when Spencer helpfully compares a contracting Vogue to his mother:

“Mum said she didn’t feel a thing. She had an epidural – didn’t even notice…”

He foolishly blunders on: “And she’s half your size.”

Before quickly adding: “Height-wise.”

Yup, it could get on your nerves…

Even Vogue doesn’t have a comeback this time.

But she does seem very much in charge. Interestingly, despite being born with a silver spoon in his own mouth, Spencer has decided that he wants the buying of baby clobber to be kept to a bare minimum.

Or as he puts it:

Whatever happened to wrapping your child up in an old bedsheet and using it for everything?

We don’t know. And neither does he – for as Vogue readily points out, this certainly wasn’t how Eton educated Spencer was raised.

And Spencer quickly folds, agreeing that they should buy the baby whatever Vogue wants.


Admittedly, there’s something slightly disconcerting about watching Spencer pottering about his house in a turquoise jumper.

Or hanging out with baby grows rather than bros.

It’s just not as exotic as shooting pigeons in your tweeds or flying Lucy Watson to Paris for their first date.

The show is a far cry from Made in Chelsea – he’s just not that leather-clad bad boy anymore.

And he couldn’t be happier:

This is the end of my life as I know it. Vogue and I’s relationship is going to take a massive turn – for the better.

Despite all this bliss, there are a few shaky moments right before the birth: it turns out that the baby is not facing the right way. His heart rate is “all over the place.”

But it’s a brief moment for the viewer – the next time we see them young Theodore is in tow and Spencer cannot keep the smile off his face.

“He’s super healthy and there’s not much more you can ask for,” he says, practically skipping.

And he has high praise for his brave wife: “I think you handled that like an absolute superstar.”

As for Vogue, she freely admits to having hated Spencer during the labour “for a tiny minute.”

She shouldn’t feel too guilty though – once the sprog is born it’s not long before a competitive Spencer is telling her:

You’re a better parent in the way that Kim Jong-un is a better leader.

But when Spencer leaves little Theodore on the bed and his son promptly pees on it, he takes his telling off gracefully: “When are you going to learn your lesson not to do it?” asks an unimpressed Vogue.

But any ups and downs are gentle inclines; it’s the sort of show where you feel like you know what’s going to happen next – it’s a comfortable show.

He entered our lives as this impossibly dapper rogue, breaking hearts in all the best postcodes – now he’s a domesticated dad and happy husband.

The removal of Spencer’s more dangerous elements does make for less compelling viewing – a great dad does not make a great TV villain.

Spencer may be mouthy but in this show he’s harmless – like a bite from someone toothless.

So, it’s comfort TV, but with a slew of cracking one-liners courtesy of Matthews, who is never less than entertaining.

And maybe that’s just what this country needs right now…

Watch the first episode of Spencer, Vogue and Baby Too on E4 now.

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