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Melissa Tattam

Made in Chelsea: the one where Miles acts like a 22 year old

in Made in Chelsea/MiC Series 16

It’s Made in Chelsea series 16, and episode 6 sees us sneaking into the bathroom of the eloquent Ollie Locke. He’s luxuriating in a bubblebath, while pronouncing extravagant sounding words like a latter-day Oscar Wilde.

Meanwhile, Liv Bentley is diligently writing down his every utterance from the safety of the kitchen.

“…I actually learn a lot from you, the way you speak,” says an appreciative Liv, as she jots down his pearls of wisdom.

“Oh that’s good,” says Ollie, who has now seated himself at the kitchen table. He deftly adds, without so much as a blink: “I’ll teach you how to read later.”

And that’s who Ollie Locke is these days. He is all elegance, dry wit and good grooming.

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The one where Ryan is not impressed with Liv…

in Made in Chelsea/MiC Series 16

When we return to Made in Chelsea on Monday 5th November, Liv Bentley is not happy…

She is ruminating on the explosive events of last week’s dinner party:

“Ryan has sort of taken it upon himself to tell the entire table that Digby and I have been sort of seeing each other and hooking up.”

Lost? Here’s a handy infographic to explain what Ryan and Liv are arguing about…

Made in Chelsea infographic about Olivia Bentley and Digby

Alex Mytton makes a half-hearted attempt to defend Ryan: “He’s very close with Digby.”

Is he?” asks an unconvinced Ollie Locke.

“I think they’re relatively close.” Mytton pauses for a moment. “They’ve definitely done some squats.”

Given that many of us won’t do squats for love nor money, this does convey a deep friendship.

And to give Ryan his due, we can see why any friend would be frustrated on Digby’s behalf.

After all, Diggers is completely in love with Liv, who has dumped him, taken him back, dumped him again, and was – at the time of the party – secretly hooking up with him.

It doesn’t look good. Fortunately, Digby Edgley is a consenting adult who agreed to all of it…

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Made in Chelsea: the one where Sam crashes Habbs’ date

in Made in Chelsea/MiC Series 16

If you dared to brave Made in Chelsea last night, you would have found Sophie ‘Habbs’ Habboo and bestie, Melissa Tattam, discussing one of life’s great mysteries – Sam Thompson…

Yes, episode four of series 16, sees the girls scratching their perfectly coiffed heads at the conundrum that is Sammy.

The blue-eyed boy with the facial expressions of a woebegone puppy, certainly could be considered a bit of a dog in some quarters.

Having cheated on Habbs right in front of her face and on video, the previous episode saw him beginning Operation Get Habbs Back.

After an emotional speech at his sister’s engagement party, clearly for Habbs’ benefit, he ran after her declaring: “I’ll be the man you want me to be!”

We’d like to think that this was a poorly judged comedy skit on Sam’s part, but Habbs is taking him seriously…

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Made in Chelsea: the one with the Me Party

in Made in Chelsea/MiC Series 16

The Made in Chelsea: Croatia season finale ended with the long foreseen breakup of Olivia Bentley and Digby Edgley.

The split was a shock to no one other than the beleaguered Digby, who thought he and his girlfriend had been having a fine old time in Croatia.

However, the blonde ice queen’s “I think you love me more than I love you,” speech was delivered with a directness and finality that saw Digby sailing off home, possibly upon an ocean of tears.

But when episode 1, Series 16, of Made in Chelsea glided onto our screens last night – how the tables had turned…

The fun-loving Bentley has retreated to the countryside, while homebody, Digby, has mysteriously morphed into a party animal.

Partying with her friends…

Since Croatia, let’s-call-her-Liv has been “hiding” in the country with her family, doing all the cruel yet necessary things people do to achieve the mythical ‘clean break’ – such as blocking Digby on social media.

You’d feel sorry for Digby, confronted with such a wall of silence – except that when we first see him he’s wearing a shirt unbuttoned to below the nipple.

In the daytime.

At Tom’s Kitchen.

But perhaps there is an explanation for all this gratuitous flesh…

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Made in Chelsea cast suffer baffling memory loss

in Made in Chelsea/Made in Chelsea: Croatia

Are you worried about the cast of Made in Chelsea? You should be.

We have reached episode 5 of Made in Chelsea: Croatia only to discover that our glamorous toffs are exhibiting troubling signs of memory loss…

Episode 4 saw Harry Baron admit to his girlfriend, Melissa Tattam, that he had flirted with blonde newcomer Diana, while in Las Vegas.

The reluctant confession only came after Diana was flown out to Croatia, (courtesy of puppet master, Jamie Laing), and outed him at a dinner party…

As we return to the Croatian island of Hvar just one week later, we are baffled to discover that the cast seems to have entirely forgotten that it is Harry who betrayed Melissa.

And that it is Diana who chose to make the situation public…

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MIC Croatia: Sam Thompson’s journey continues…

in Made in Chelsea/Made in Chelsea: Croatia

“Oh shut up about your f*cking journey. You don’t have any journey. You just want to f*ck girls and talk about it!”

Is this bringing back any memories?

In Made in Chelsea: Ibiza, Tiffany Watson delivered the kind of razor-sharp rebuke that only a Watson can.

The unfortunate recipient was Sam Thompson and as we reach episode 4 of Made in Chelsea: Croatia things aren’t looking any sunnier for Sam…

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Made in Chelsea: Croatia – the one where they get a lot of Stick

in Made in Chelsea/Made in Chelsea: Croatia

What are the chances that you happen to have a baguette under your arm, when you espy a chap of French heritage doing The Walk Of Shame in Hvar?

Quite high if you’re in Made in Chelsea: Croatia, our favourite “structured reality” series.

Yes, episode 2 finds Ollie Locke brandishing a French stick when he bumps into resident dreamboat, Miles Nazaire, who immediately tries to look embarrassed about being caught in the same clothes as the night before.

“You haven’t been home..?” Ollie’s voice trails off, suggestively.

“Oh I have been home,” Miles responds rather swiftly: “I have been home. I just thought on my country run this morning I’d wear the same shirt because it’s a lovely shirt.”

Unfortunately for no one, the story doesn’t wash with Ollie. For it turns out that Miles may not have washed at all…

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Made in Chelsea: Croatia – Trouble in Paradise…

in Made in Chelsea/Made in Chelsea: Croatia

On the island of Hvar in Croatia’s Dalmatian islands, clinking champagne glasses and braying voices are ringing in the air.

For it is here where the well-heeled Made in Chelsea set are frittering away the summer of 2018.

And it is on the sun-drenched Dubovica Beach we find love’s young-ish dream, Jamie Laing and his girlfriend, Heloise Agostinelli (‘Ell’).

But is there trouble in paradise?

It’s Made in Chelsea, so that’s a given – and folks, we need to talk about Jamie…

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