The one where Ryan is not impressed with Liv…

in Made in Chelsea/MiC Series 16

When we return to Made in Chelsea on Monday 5th November, Liv Bentley is not happy…

She is ruminating on the explosive events of last week’s dinner party:

“Ryan has sort of taken it upon himself to tell the entire table that Digby and I have been sort of seeing each other and hooking up.”

Lost? Here’s a handy infographic to explain what Ryan and Liv are arguing about…

Made in Chelsea infographic about Olivia Bentley and Digby

Alex Mytton makes a half-hearted attempt to defend Ryan: “He’s very close with Digby.”

Is he?” asks an unconvinced Ollie Locke.

“I think they’re relatively close.” Mytton pauses for a moment. “They’ve definitely done some squats.”

Given that many of us won’t do squats for love nor money, this does convey a deep friendship.

And to give Ryan his due, we can see why any friend would be frustrated on Digby’s behalf.

After all, Diggers is completely in love with Liv, who has dumped him, taken him back, dumped him again, and was – at the time of the party – secretly hooking up with him.

It doesn’t look good. Fortunately, Digby Edgley is a consenting adult who agreed to all of it…

Although Diggers was fairly silent at the dinner party, Ryan did not hold back in expressing his displeasure.

And here’s Ollie, defending his friend, Liv, by telling her what she should say to Ryan’s fiancé, Louise Thompson:

As a friend, it would have been nice if you’d have stuck up for me maybe. And I understand that it’s a very difficult position because this is my fiancé.

Really Ollie?

If Ryan is your fiancé (or did he mean that Ryan was Liv’s fiancé?) this should have been mentioned earlier.

Because here’s poor old Louise thinking that she’s the one who’s going to marry him.

And now we move on to the happy couple – Louise is out exercising with Ryan (those two know how to have a good time) and wants to talk to him about that #Awkward dinner party.

“Well, you clearly had a good time at the dinner party last night.” says Louise with a smile or grimace, depending on your view.

Possibly, Ryan did.

If so, he was the only one.

“He’s petrified of Liv.” Ryan says of Digby, explaining why he felt compelled to inform Liv of her “toxic” and “manipulative” nature.

“It’s hard for me as I’m obviously good friends with her…” says a worried Louise.

However, Ryan is focused on his own thoughts towards Liv:

“I actually think Liv is pretty toxic. I can see straight through her.” he says, with unwavering conviction.

But it’s not as though Liv ghosted Digby…

(Oh, he means that she’s transparent. Got it!)

Louise has her own qualms about Liv – she hadn’t known that her good friend was still sleeping with Diggers and is not pleased by the secrecy.

But realistically, could Liv really tell Louise about her sleeping with Digby, when Louise’s fiancé is Digby’s bestie?!

Louise begins what, if we didn’t know better, would seem suspiciously like a rehearsed speech:

In this scenario I think Liv is in the wrong. She’s toyed with Digby’s emotions. She’s also lied about the fact that they’ve been hooking up whilst seeing this guy who’s clearly head over heels for her, and she was really rude about you and you’re my fiancé.

(We’re glad that the fiancé bit was straightened out.)

A frowning Ryan is nodding in approval.

Louise decides she’ll confront Liv about her behaviour.

In another part of town, resident troublemaker, Jamie Laing, Sophie ‘Habbs’ Habboo and bestie, Melissa Tattam, are also discussing the drama-filled dinner party…

Melissa is baffled by Ryan’s behaviour “…exes do just do that [hook up] and Ryan was like blaming it all on Liv. It was just outrageously unnecessary, I thought.”

However, her good friend, Habbs, cannot long be distracted from her favourite topic of conversation: the dastardly Sam Thompson.

Her on/off love interest is currently pursuing her with all the vigour of a bengal cat after a mouse:

“If he hadn’t persevered so much I probably would have been fully fine and over it,” admits Habbs.

Newsflash: Sam knows this!

Sam, who looks like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth (when in fact it would probably hiss and bubble, if tested) – has been chasing Habbs for some time, and recently crashed her date with unlucky newcomer, Tristan Phipps.

What we haven’t seen from Sam, is all that perserverance when he’s actually dating her.

Habbs has decided to continue dating Tristan and has a double dinner date with Melissa, Melissa’s boyfriend, Harry Baron and Tristan.

She has also agreed to go for a coffee with Sam…

The rationale for going for coffee with Sam and then ALSO continuing to go on her date with Tristan is, as Melissa says, because it “had already been arranged anyway.”

Habbs chimes in – agreeing that it “had already been arranged.”

But Habbs who is far too nice for the Chelsea set, is already having qualms about her decision: “..I don’t want to look like I’m being unfair on anybody but I just – I didn’t want to cancel on him because we’re having coffee. It had already been arranged…”

Oh, well, if it’s already been arranged

However much you may mock the fidelity of MiC-ers, they certainly show an unswerving commitment to dinner plans.

If people knew that arranging dinner was such a bind I doubt anyone would ever eat out again.

Habbs then decides to downgrade the dinner date to “a gathering!” when explaining it to Jamie.

However, Jamie, who is no stranger to skullduggery, emits a little snort and cuts through the nonsense:

“Look, you’ve got two dates – that’s huge. Make sure you pick the right choice!”

Meaning his mate, Sam, of course.

Of course, being everyone’s frenemy, Jamie is also on hand to later dangle this delicious titbit of faux treachery in front of Sam.

Much is made of the fact that Tristan has the evening slot. “You’re just like the warm up,” says Jamie to Sam, kindly.

(I do like a man with strong forearms, and with all the stirring Jamie does, his really cannot be in any doubt.)

Meanwhile, the queenly Victoria Baker-Harber has been thinking…

“Sound very precarious…” says Mark-Francis Vandelli, who probably employs servants to do his thinking for him – but Victoria is not to be distracted.

She wants a cat.

A bengal cat, in fact.

As beautiful and rude and independent as herself.

The fastidious Mark-Francis is far from encouraging…

Although, to be fair, his suggestion of taxidermy as an alternative to having a pet is a creative solution. One that doesn’t fill Victoria with warm furry feelings, unfortunately.

He is disappointed that she insists on a cat with a pulse and is against wearing it once it has died.

We aren’t – we have the joy of witnessing the stiff pair test-driving two irreverent bengals, one of which commits the cardinal sin of climbing up a delightfully horrified Mark-Francis.

You can always count on a cat to put snooty humans in their place.

If you’re thinking of getting one, just remember Victoria’s words of wisdom:

The bigger the animal, the bigger the sh*t!

In another part of town, Liv and Louise are having a heart-to-heart:

“I don’t want this to be a thing between you and I because of Ryan.” says an earnest Liv.

“Everyone’s entitled to an opinion…” begins Louise, in defence of Ryan’s outburst.

Her rationale is that Ryan’s opinion “may have been quite harsh and quite strong…but then I don’t think you needed to lash out at him.”

So, just to be clear, Ryan’s outburst is quite harsh and quite strong.

Whereas Liv’s outburst is…lashing out.

Anyone else feeling a little foggy on the distinction?

Louise seems tired: “I don’t even know where I’m going with this train of  thought…”

The question is – is it Louise’s train of thought..?

If it isn’t, then that would explain the confusion.

Louise adds, for good measure: “It’s hard for him to understand where you’re coming from when you are just such a stone cold bitch.”

Liv has the grace to snort with laughter about this, while looking like she wants to cry.

Which the stone cold bitch did at the dinner table on that fateful night.

Confused? You should be.

Louise tries to sum up:

“… I know that you have a heart. And I know that you’re not a bad person.  But I think that some of the actions from the outside world are probably a bit confusing.”

And it’s a fair summary.

“It’s fine,” Liv says, miserably: “I feel like I almost just deserve it now.”

Louise looks worried…

The question is – does Liv deserve it?

Meanwhile, in a rather lovely looking place in Marylebone, Sam and Habbs are meeting for coffee.

Although if you’ve ever watched Good Will Hunting you’ll know it’s not about the coffee at all – they could just as easily be meeting to eat caramels…

Sam starts strong:

“For lack of a better word, I’ve been a bit of a f*ckboy.”

This is unusually self-deprecating of Sam, given that it is, in fact, the perfect choice of word, that accurately depicts his behaviour.

I think you hit the nail on the head with that one,” says a cheerful Habbs who clearly agrees with us.

She softens, admitting: “…you made it really difficult for me to move on…”

And then, because it is clearly the cheating Sam who has earned honesty, and not the irreproachable Tristan, says that she is still going for dinner with Tristan and Harry and Melissa…

“…it was already arranged.” she adds, helpfully.

Not to worry.

Sam isn’t:

I’m not stopping just because someone else is in the picture.

This is the guy who also isn’t stopping himself from gatecrashing dates, so this isn’t the biggest of surprises.

Meanwhile, at Ollie’s suggestion, Liv is busy having her chakras opened and closed.

The therapist points out: “You don’t want to be walking around London wide open, that’s quite painful.”

So are all of Ollie’s suggestions…

This is the guy who recommended that Liv throw a Me Party. Complete with a naked exhibition!

Our suggestion? Enjoy Ollie’s company, and ignore all his advice.

But although Liv would rather “stick pins” in herself than talk to Ryan, that is exactly what Ollie recommends.

Because if someone isn’t in agony in MiC then it’s not a proper episode.

But first, it’s back to Sam and his second date.

Yup, in reality, Sam Thompson is getting two dates with Habbs.

He gets his coffee date – plus another date where he is not present, but IS the guest of honour.

For he is all Habbs, Tristan, Harry and Melissa can talk about on their double date.

Yup, they’re still discussing that gatecrashing of Tristan and Habbs’ date…

“Some may say that it’s romantic!” offers a wilfully naive Harry, with a I’m-smiling-so-please-don’t-hate-my-inane-suggestion expression.

The group disagrees. Vigorously.

“I think it was quite romantic..” says Harry, again – somehow failing to pick up on the mood of his company, and specifically, the feelings of the guy whose date was gatecrashed: Tristan.

“Having said that, you handled it really well.” Habbs tells Tristan comfortingly.

Did he? Look, it’s only cute when puppies roll over, not men.

We learn that Tristan has taken up boxing.

But he’d really be better off learning self-defence.

In other news, Habbs is currently sporting the sort of gloriously glossy tousled, honey-highlighted beach waves that supermodels pine for.

How she can feel anything other than delighted in these circumstances is anyone’s guess but apparently the situation is still too hairy – she “feels really uncomfortable” because she’s not sure she wants to go on another date with Tristan.


But it’s still not going as badly as Liv’s meet up with Ryan.

Liv points out, not altogether unfairly that: “The way you behaved was kind of outrageous and really rude.”

Ryan emits a small, humourless laugh. “You’re kidding me about that!”

She isn’t.

Ryan continues where he left off at the dinner party: “You have such a bad and ugly influence on Digby that he was literally shaking next to me so I thought a good friend in this situation is going to speak up and defend him.”

And Ryan isn’t wrong about Digby.

He is but a shadow of his former self.

For Liv has done what Spencer did to countless women on Made in Chelsea. And what Jamie has done to countless women on Made in Chelsea.

Yes, folks – she dumped him.

The difference is, that unlike most of the relationships we see in this programme (see Spencer, Jamie and Mytton) she didn’t cheat on him.

Plus, she’s female.

Liv is perplexed: “Why do you hate me so much..? You have no idea what’s happened on my side…”

“I’m frustrated for Digby,” says Ryan, repeatedly.

Liv starts crying while Ryan watches her, shaking his head.

His expression is hard to read.

Fortunately, we don’t have to – for Ryan relates the situation to his buddies, Harry, Sam and Jamie later:

“I went to Liv with some home truths and she f*cking hated it. Obviously, she cried. There was no emotion behind it,” he tells the group, “it was like she just glazed over and she thought to herself, “What’s my last resort to kind of manipulate the situation?” so she cried.”

We may not know what Liv was thinking, but now we do know what was going on in the mind of the square-jawed Ryan.

Liv has stopped crying:

I understand where you’re coming from but I don’t understand the reasoning behind the rudeness.

She explains that she wants to sort things out because “I love Louise and she is a friend of mine.”

Is she?” snorts Ryan despite Louise telling him precisely this, earlier that day.

Anyway it hasn’t worked and Ryan is “done with the situation…”

When Ryan relates the situation back to Harry, Jamie and Sam, he explains his feelings in more depth:

“…the only reason I use the word toxic is because I’m looking at Digby and I thinking oh my god, look at the impact this person’s had on you,” says Ryan, not unreasonably.

“She’s felt exactly the same..!” interjects an exasperated Harry, in case Ryan thinks that Liv ran away to the countryside in order to gaily take up country dancing.

Ryan seems quite wound up. “I don’t get why you’re defending Liv?” he says pressing his fingers against his mouth in dismay.

Harry explains that he’s Liv’s friend.

And that her mistakes don’t define her.

Ryan, of all people, should understand the importance of loyalty to your friends…

But in Ryan’s defence, his unswervingly loyal and straightforward character is not one shared by many of the Chelsea set.

Perhaps that’s why they’re more forgiving than he is…

Meanwhile, it emerges that Habbs and Sam have had, what Melissa cutely describes as “a sleepover.”

Apparently, this is due to Sam bowling up to her house with flowers each night.

(If you want to start a successful business, you could do worse than setting up a florists in Chelsea.)

Unfortunately for Habbs, Harry has invited an increasingly suspicious Tristan to “Mytton’s DJ night.”

Naive, Tristan may be – but, on arriving at the party, he’s clever enough to head for Melissa first.

For Melissa has form for being unable to tell a lie…

So, it doesn’t take long for it all to come out about Sam and Habbs:

“She has slept with him,” says a squirming Melissa, while an uncharacteristically squeamish Jamie squirms beside her.

While Mytton is busy spinning his choons, Sam is at it again: “I’d do anything to be your boyfriend. I’d be the luckiest man on earth,”  he tells Habbs.

When Habbs accepts, the extravagant Sam promises: “I literally will make you the happiest girlfriend, ever!”

We can’t wait to see it, Sam…

Neither can the unluckiest man on earth – Tristan.

His hurt face is looking at the besotted pair in confusion.

Habbs immediately admits her guilt:

“I do feel really bad. I would be exactly the same if I was you, I’d be saying the exact same thing to you,” she says, and doesn’t even try and defend herself.

But Sam does.

He points out that Tristan has only had two dates with Habbs.

Which is a fair point.

“I’m not sorry, whatsoever,” says Sam with great cheerfulness.

Which isn’t.

Tristan tries to rise above it: “I wish you the best going forward (and to sam) I hope you sort your act out and treat her as she should be treated.”

It’s a magnanimous response from an embarrassed Tristan who is forgotten the second he walks away.

Habbs turns to Sam: “What do we do now?”
Sam rises to the moment: “I think we should live happily ever after.”

Habbs swoons and they kiss.

We don’t really blame her but let’s see if they make it through the next week, eh?

At the same party, a subdued Liv is thanking Louise for her constructive feedback “..I think obviously there’s a lot Digby and I need to talk to without anyone else getting involved,” she says, looking meaningfully at Ryan, who is chewing gum.

“Yeah, sure. Well, I think, obviously,” agrees Louise, ready to be conciliatory.

But Ryan has taken exception to Liv looking at him and appears angry. Again.

“Such a mature thing to do. Just flick your eyes at me like that,” he says grimly.

Silence from the two (baffled?) girls.

“Such an actress,” Ryan adds. “Be f*cking real, mate.”

“Sorry Ryan, I don’t think…” begins a tentative Liv.

“No, seriously – look at me. Don’t flick your immature little eye…”

“Don’t look at Louise,” he commands her, crossly.

Both girls express their discomfort.

But Ryan is scarcely squaring up for a fight, he’s just very dogged in his dislike.

Liv can’t resist a parting shot: “Chewing gum is highly unattractive,” she says before turning on her heel.

Ryan then turns to Louise: “You should have had a bit of a backbone then. I’m not having a go!” he adds, although he does appear to be.

Fortunately, Louise has found her voice and uses it to point out that he is a grown man who can fight his own battles.

Which he has certainly proved.

The episode ends with our Liv doing the right thing and apologising to a hurt Digby:

“I do also want to apologise for a lot of stuff..and where I went wrong…I don’t want you to think I’ve deliberately hurt you in any kind of way.”

Although Digby disagrees with the “poisonous” and “toxic” tags, he feels that she has been manipulative.

Liv apologises again, tells Diggers she’ll always love him and hopes that he doesn’t hate her.

“Liv, I don’t hate you. Can’t hate you,” says a noble Digby.

Maybe we shouldn’t either?

Just a thought…

Here’s what happens next…

What percentage of people haven’t slept with an ex – and why haven’t I met any of them? Should Habbs patent her haircare secrets? Would you be foolish enough to tell Melissa a secret? How long do you give Sam and Habbs?

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